| | Dear Die-ary,
Okay. I decided I'm going to talk. Saturday, when I spent the night at Sara's house we decided we wanted to get drunk for the second night in a row. Then we went out front to smoke a ciggarette, and we ended up seeing a guy named Juan, that we had met on Halloween. He asked us what we were doing tonight and we told him we were going to drink. I ended up giving him $4.00 for a 20/20 (which I had never had.) He got back, gave it to us, and went back home. He called my cell later, (because like a dumbass I gave it to him. And I told him to come over and party with us. We ended up drinking in the front yard, and it just so happened that I got more drunk than I ever have before. When I started to pass out, the fucker whipped it out, and started forcing me to do things with him. IN HER FRONT FUCKING YARD! She later had to carry me inside the house. I fell asleep like half an hour later, and the next morning I left to go home. I just wanted to see my boyfriend... I remember everytime I would get upset, I'd wait till the end of school because I knew I would feel better just seeing him. At the time I had told no one what had happened except Sara. But I started to breakdown, so i made the decision tto call up one of my closest friends and ask her what I should do. I can't tell my brother inlaw because last time something lilke that happened... uh... yah. And I don't feel it would be right to put them through more shit... after all, they're finnally to tthe point to where they are atleast happy.I can't even imagine how long I've been waiting to see that. And that'swhat really keeps me alive. Is seeing that they're happy, and that I don't have to do more damage or ruin that in any way...But anyway, I talked to my other friend, and brokedown even more in the process. I didn't tell her exactly what was going on, but I told her the basics and asked her if I should tell my boyfriend. She told me I needed to... So I did... I remember talking to my famioly and them telling me that if anything is to happen to me like that to tell them. I always told them I would after what happened the time before. Although now I feel I can't... it's m,y own fault. I don't want to put them through anymore than I already have. I feel better now though. Atlest better than yesterday... I'm just hoping it doesn't hit me really bad, and I end up doing something stupid like hurting myself... but to prevent that, I decided that I would ask my mom today if I canget a new councilor. I'm not nessacerally going toi tell her exactly why, but I figured the counsilor might be able to help me get it out to my mom.But anyway... I don't think I really want to go into details about what happened. Not at the moment anyway...
-Jessicka
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| | Posted 4/26/2004 2:09 PM - 4 Views - 0 eProps - 0 comments
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